A Lesson in Thankfulness

About 6 months ago, I had a moment of panic.  Not just a passing moment, but a few months where everyday I felt pangs of guilt, anger and sadness.  I was so jealous of all my brothers' and sisters' having children that I couldn't see straight.

When Aaron and I got married we decided well before hand that we would wait 7 to 10 years before having children.  We were only 19 and 20 respectively and no where near ready to bring a child into the world.  That's not to say that we thought it would be the end of the world if it happened sooner, we just planned to wait.

6 months ago, I found out my younger sister was pregnant and I'm ashamed to say that the first thing I thought was 'I should be first.'  I tried to rationalize my anger and jealousy.  I tried to factor in that I had been married nearly 3 years at the time, and still hadn't gotten pregnant because we weren't financially ready and that my husband and I were 'doing it the right way.'  I was mad at her for taking something from me.  What, I wasn't exactly sure.  I just knew that it was my right and she had stolen it.

My husband and I lay in the bed that night and I sobbed while he held me.  I cried deep, wracking tears.  I let every insecurity and dream fall into his arms that night and I told him I wanted a child.  He looked me in the eyes and said. "Then go off birth control and we will start trying before we turn the spare room into a guest room."  He was being so logical that I took a step back and decided that this baby fever would pass and we would just wait it out.

For months everytime I saw a baby I felt a clench in my stomach and hormones nearly took over.  However I stuck by our original decision, and endured through my jealousy and anger.  For almost 3 months I was sad and angry because I have always wanted children but I knew it wasn't the right time.  I have prayed and prayed and God has continued to tell me to ''Wait'

I thought I might never get over my anger and feelings of loss, but I have.  It's taken a while and everyday I have to pray and remind myself that God has a plan, and that thought I don't understand it, I need to trust in him.  I also look at the lives we lead, and realize how fortunate we are to be able to do all of the things we do.  With a child there is no way we could pick up and drive the 7 hours to Portland to see a concert.  We need to remember the blessing we are given in this time alone together and use it to strengthen our relationship before there is a child in the equation.

Today I am thankful,  I know it is hard to be thankful in everything, but I am trying.

Veteren's Day Parade

Wednesday is Veteran's day and to honor all those who have served before and all of those still serving Boise, Id had a parade on Saturday.  Aaron was asked to don his Service Blues and ride a bus out at 7:00 AM to march in this parade.  Despite being on swing shift and not normally getting off work until 4:00 AM he agreed.  They let him off at 8:30 the night before, however it is impossible to just force yourself to fall asleep because you need to wake up early the next morning.  Aaron got an hour and a half nap, and I stayed up to make sure he woke up when his alarm went off.  I tell my husband most days how proud I am of him, However he isn't in the military to hear people say thanks, most days he works a 12 hour shift, makes very little money and lives across the country from his family.  He spent 13 months in Korea with no family and he rarely complained.  My husband does this because he believes, despite the faults our country has, that this country is worth defending.

If you know someone who is currently in, or has served in the past, please go out of your way just to tell them that you are thinking about them.  I cannot tell you how much strangers kindness has meant to my husband.  On his way to Korea (wearing ABU'S on a 14 hour flight) he had several people come up and tell him thanks, and that they were praying for our men.  There are still so many people however that don't know that Iraq and Afghanistan aren't the only places our boys deploy to.  There is still Kuait, South Korea, Turkey, and plenty of other places that they are sent without their families.  My husband returned home at the beginning of June and may be leaving again sometime during January or Feburary.  Most military families have been through at least one and some have bee through 4 or 5.  Keep all of those serving in your prayers.

A tank.  There were two there and it was awesome to see them get moving.

The Scottish band.  It was awesome to see people preserving this traditon.

The warrior riders.

Can't hide that AirForce pride!

South Korea!

I've mentioned that Aaron spent 13 months in south Korea with the Air Force.  I think I might have also mentioned that I was lucky enough to spend a month there with him.  Here are a few pictures of my trip to Korea I will explain where each picture was taken and what exactly is in it.

This was taken Literally 10 hours after I landed in Seoul.  We went to bed, and went into town to eat.  This was near Youngsan/Garrison which is located just outside of Seoul, it is an Army base.  We had to spend a few days there waiting on a piece of luggage.  This was my first taste of soju, and trying beef on a leaf.

This is what I saw when we first sat down to eat.  The thing in the far left top corner is the raw beef, that they cook on a grill at the table.  On the left in the front is Kimchi, there are many different varieties and some of it is quite good.  The middle top is some pickled bean sprouts.  The top Right is some dried seaweed. The bottom right is some noodles in a maynaisse sauce.  The bottom middle is fresh seaweed.  Not pictured are the leaves you put this all on and the rice also.

This is a picture of Aaron and I at Lotte World.  Lotte is like walmart or Disney, they have their hand in everything.  This is an amusement park that is open 365 days a year...On this particular day it was 18 degrees and we rode the Steepest woode rollar coaster in the world.  The T express.  It was a total blast even though it was freezing.

This is a picture of another beef on a leaf resteraunt and the ever present Soju, this is common fare in Korea although it's not very filling.  Later I will post some pictures of Bulgougi which is extra tasty and very filling.

Oh thanks movers for feeding us some bull this morning...

Thanks for feeding us bull with a side of crap.  That is exactly what this is, bullcrap.  As I've mentioned before the husband came home from 13 months in Korea about 4 months ago.  Two and a half months ago we got most of the stuff back from Korea, however since Aaron wasn't there when the movers packed everything (he had to get out of Korea before the end of May or else they would have to extend his tour by 6 months) some things were missing and a few things were broken.  (Only half of my kitchen items came back)  His less than a year old, custom built gaming computer came back with stuff rattling around in the tower...uh oh.  When he first went to hook it up, no dice.  The lights would come on, the fan would turn on, but nothing else would come on.  So we took it to a local computer place, and got an estimate for the moving company so they could fix it.

That was more than a month ago.  We paid $25 to have it diagnosed and have the moving companys paperwork filled out.  We sent it in and have been waiting (the place said $366 to replace the parts, $590 in total).  Today Aaron called and asked them about the status of his claim. They told him to go to the website to see there offer...of $215....WHAT?  Are you FREAKING kidding me?  That doesn't even cover parts if Aaron installs them himself!  He was still on the phone with the woman and asked her why the lowball offer.  She explains that if they ship a vase with something inside of it and the vase and the other thing breaks they are only responsible for the vase, because it is the "outer cover".  She basically said that because the case was cracked they would cover a new case, but not the broken video card, and mother board...are you effing joking? 

Now tell me this, does that seem legal in any way shape or form?  We shipped the entire tower, broke the case, and some insides got shaken loose, but we only cover the case?  I think it's a bunch of crap, and so does Aaron.  He is refusing the offer with an explanation of why he is refusing the offer, and we are hoping they will come back with something better, but we will see.  Any comments?  Any suggestions?  Has this kind of thing ever happened to you?

Making the switch

Making the switch to Mid-Shift is pretty much miserable. Aaron was on Day shift the first month and a half we were here. Then when most of his AMU got deployed they moved the guys from the 89th over to the 91st. Once there they switched him to Swing shift where he was going in at 3 in the afternoon and getting off at about midnight. Not my favorite shift, but not awful either. Then only 2 weeks later they told him he was going to Mid-Shift (they told him wednesday) so he worked friday from 11 to 7 and on Sunday he has to go in at midnight, that gives us roughly 40 hours to switch from sleeping from from midnight to 9 to being awake all night and sleeping during the day. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot??? Yes this is what we give up as military families. Normally when you have a shift change IRL they give you a week's notice or more so that you can start making changes...oh no, not the military...lol. Oh well, Aaron is taking a short nap because we woke up at 10 today and it is already 1:30 AM. Ugghh. Shoot me now.

Wait...what do you mean this isn't normal?

I woke up this morning feeling like someone had vacuumed out all my energy. I knew it was going to be a glorious day. So today I'm just going to say this. We are staying at home most of the day. We will go to the grocery store, because we have absolutely no food, except some frozen meat. Here is a picture of my husband standing on the front porch.